It's late, and my mind has been whirling with thoughts and impressions of my readings.
A while back, amidst some trying times, a friend recommended that I read A Single Voice by Kristen M. Oaks. I must admit, though my friends intentions were amiable, I never opened the front page. But years later, I found myself purchasing this book for myself, and opening the spin and letting myself fall into the thoughts, impressions and experiences of a lovely, uplifting, divine woman who lives the Gospel of Jesus Christ with immense faith and trust. I am not very far in the book, and already, I feel like she and I are kindred spirits. Despite the extreme differences between her experiences and my own, I find a friendship and relationship in these pages, and words of wisdom and advice that have been long needed and sought after. There isn't anything extremely unusual or unheard of about her advice to single women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but it's advice that every woman should hear at one point or another, but there's not always a voice to put it in front of us as plainly as she does.
So, while reading this book about becoming a better single Latter-Day Saint woman, I have been dwelling on the thoughts and ideas of who I am. What are the signs and signals that I'm putting out for others to see, hear and read? Who do I want to attract to me to be a friend or companion? I've noticed recently this last week, that something feels like it's missing, and something important. And tonight, I finally realized it! Yes, I am missing "a husband", or someone of that sort, but I'm missing friends and people in my life that would help guide me to where I want to go. I was reading in the Book of Mormon, Alma chapter 48, where it talks about Captain Moroni, and the type of man he was. HE, outside of the examples of Jesus Christ and Joseph Smith, is the type of man (or friend for that matter) that I want in my life. Someone who is not perfect, or has everything in common with me. But rather, someone who strives to do what is best, who knows that there is good and evil in the world, and isn't afraid to fight for what they believe in. They uplift those around them, serve those in need, and rely upon the Lord. "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men [women] had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men."
I am far from perfect, and I am not the most spiritual person so say the least. But I know that if I want people like this in my life, then I need to rise to the occasion, and be worthy of those blessings and people that Heavenly Father has in mind of putting in my path.

Sitting by a Window

Everything is put in it's rightful place and organized. The schedule is not complete but will soon figure a way to make all the wants and needs to fit in a timely and orderly fashion. And the best of all, is that I'm here.
Roughly 2 weeks ago, I began the arduous task of packing up my belongings, once more, and carefully packing up my car (and what later over loaded into my dad's dodge pickup truck). My friend drove down from Idaho to meet up with me and together we would caravan down "the 5" through California to Los Angeles. There we would unpack both of our cars, carry all the belongings up a flight of stairs, and sometimes having to juggle with the stairs, front gates that can not be propted open, and must be unlocked by a magnetic key (for safety reasons of course), and finally collapse on the floor in shock and awe that we made it.
Those next two nights while I awaited patiently and gratefully for my parents to come down with the rest of my "shtuff", were a little longer then I anticipated. As I laid on the air mattress, and listened to the strange noises outside in the big city that I still not familiar with, I wondered how in the heck this was all going to work out. "Was I crazy?"
But to my relief, my mother and father knew exactly what to say and do that would make what was an empty apartment, feel like my own "home" and remind me that this is my time to dedicate to me so that I can later serve others. The furnature was put together and placed in the room, the walls were decorated slightly, and the cubboards filled with with food, books, movies, or clothes and other annonymous items. As they left, and it was just my friend and I heading back to our seperate apartments, my heart was lifted, knowing that my family loved me immensely. That no matter where I could have moved to, they would have done all they could to try and be there for me and help me get established.
So, now, here I sit, after cleaning for the first time, and taking inventory on everything, and having completed my first day as a graduate student, I'm still filled with that same feeling. Even though the sounds of an ice cream truck going down the street, dogs barking, the loud black lady that randomly talks to strangers and the zooming cars that wizz by, I can still feel at home in my apartment. Just me, myself and I; sit and be grateful for everything that i have and continue to wonder how can my life be more blessed then it already has? And what can I do so that I can try and repay just an ounce of what I have been given?

Finding Sunshine amidst the Fog

You know the scene from "The Sound of Music" where Maria is first leaving the abbey to go to the Von Trapp's for the first time, and she is talking about "Whenever the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window...What will this day be like? I wonder. What will my future be? I wonder. It could be so exciting, to be out in the world to be free, my heart should be wildly rejoicing...oh what's the matter with me?"
This is the perfect definition and description of myself at this time in life. With the count down in the single digits to when I move, I should be more and more excited. I have a small understanding and glimpse of what life will be like, but still, I am not entirely sure of myself.
The summer felt like it would never come a few months ago, and now, I feel like there should still be so much time left. Time...our best friend and worst enemy. It is what we make it out to be. In the older Mormon adds on TV they would say, "Isn't it about time?", and all the cliche phrases, "The early bird gets the worm", or "a penny saved, is a penny earned". They all lead to the same thing. What have you been doing with your life? Are you spending it working and trying to get ahead; wistfully trying to daydream your hopes and dreams to reality, playing with your family, squandering, or always trying too hard to make "every little exact thing happen at this precise moment"???? Think about it. I heard on the radio today, that those who took a moment "to smell the roses"; go on a walk with friends, garden, etc live longer then maybe some of those who run marathons (or other activities) that "increase your health".
Life is for the giving and taking. If you are always trying to give to it, eventually you'll find that you've saved nothing for yourself and want something to hold onto in the end. But if you never give back, then you'll have no one to hold onto because they don't have anything else to give you.
I am certain of one thing, and that is that nothing is for certain. The future is a little hazy and foggy, and I am not entirely sure what is on the horizon, but I do know that I am armed with the most essential things in life; family, friends, love and the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Beginning - Day One

It's been a while since I've posted, and I'm sure that by now, most of us have so much on our plates that we don't usually check our blogs (at least me anyways). But I decided that I need to do better. So -- to catch everyone up to speed, here I go.

It's day one, on what will seem like a very long journey for the last long hall of school. I have 4 straight semesters left until I graduate (Fall 09, Winter 10, Spring 10, Fall 10). I am currently trying to find a job that is more local and more time convenience for me to travel to then going down to Idaho Falls everyday and back up. But I'm grateful for the job that I do have at the moment, despite complications, and other little details. I am still at the same address, so if you wish to send me a love note, I will not be offended :). I am living with 5 other girls, one of which has been my roommate for quite some time now, and we usually go and play rugby together. Yes, that's right. I came away to college to become a lady, get an education, meet new people.... and find one of my new loves, rugby. It's a little strange, but I have to admit, I've never had so much fun getting tackled and the adrenaline rush.

I am still a music major. And I am currently working with my voice teacher to get myself ready for my senior recital. Which is coming up this next June/July 2010. As well as a possible Metropolitan Opera Competition in Salt Lake. We'll see how that goes.

But for the moment, I'm still alive, a little tired already, but things are good. I have an amazing family and group of friends who help me through each day! Lots of love to everyone and anyone!

The Beautiful Game -- Rugby

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Long Overdue Update

'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello!!

I officially suck at communication during the summer. But who doesn't right?
I am living in Rexburg, ID year round now, and am working at Express Employment Professionals in Idaho Falls, ID. I love my employer, and somedays my job. I mostly help other people try and find a job in the economy right now. It has it's up and downs, but I'm definately learning alot right now.

It's been fun being in a town full of people my own age, having people and things to do, and fun stories to retell, laugh at and then forget to tell everyone else.

I'm taking voice lessons this summer from Kristine Ciesinski, and LOVING IT! She is helping me find all of my flaws in my voice and trying to help me learn to do it right so that way I'm "Hot Stuff" when I go to audition. But I have another year, so I'm no too worried.
But life is good -- -- there will be a few more updates in a few. Pictures, stories, and hopefully.... I will see you most in a month!

This last week I was able to sing for one of my classes that is assosiated to my voice lessons (it's called masterclass). And it's common to usually sing 1-2 times a semester, but for some reason this semester, I haven't been able to sing for my class, so I was scheduled to sing this last Monday, March 30. But the interesting thing is that my voice teacher, Gina, got hold of me the weekend before Monday, and asked me if I wanted to sing for a guest singer who would be performing at the college later that same week. The guest singer is my opera scenes teacher, Kristine Ciesinski, her sister - Katherina Ciesinski. I couldn't believe it!! I was going to sing for a world renowned opera singer, and one of the top opera/voice teachers at Eastman School of Music in Rodchester, NY. I about passed out from excitement. http://www.esm.rochester.edu/faculty/ciesinski_katherine
So Monday came, and I was more nervous then ever. Cause not only was I singing for Katherine, but also the class was for the entire voice department to come and listen to! Holy Cow! But I "sucked it up" and sang "Elle a Fui" from Tales of Hoffman by Offenbach. And it was an amazing experience -- and I realized that, once again, that I love to sing. I don't necessariliy like getting all the 'oohs and aahs', but I do like to be recognized as a good singer. And to have Kristine & Katherine both compliment me on my singing -- that was a HUGE self-esteem boost!